


Let It Be (All Night)

by verlore_poplap (orphan_account)



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-03
Updated: 2017-07-03
Packaged: 2018-11-08 12:44:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11081838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/verlore_poplap
Summary: A collection of (steamy) oneshots in which Isak rides Even, they have honeymoon sex, Even finds Isak's sex toy, there's porn with feelings, dysfunctional dynamics and Even bottoming for the first time. Mostly in that order.





	1. Crave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Isak rides Even. That's pretty much it.

**Crave**

 

"Jesus," Isak gasps, sinking the final few centimeters down, until it's all the way-- Even's cock, hard and hot and all the way inside him and _so good,_ Isak has to close his eyes and bite down on his bottom lip to keep from making any further awfully embarrassing sounds.

It's just-- _fuck._ It hasn't gotten less overwhelming, it's ridiculous. It's been almost a year of this, getting to feel Even like this, be with him in this way, as much as Isak can, basically at every opportunity he's gifted with. He's still not okay with it, how much he wants, needs...fucking _craves_ it. "Oh god, baby," he finds himself saying. _"Even."_

"It's okay," Even's grip on his hips is sure, firm, fingers digging in a little bit too hard, adding a new and slight sting of pain into the mix with Isak's pleasure. "You're alright, I've got you."

"Yes," Isak agrees. He knows, _God,_ does he know. "Yes, Even." Isak exhales, opens his eyes.

It's like a kick to the stomach, when he looks down at Even and sees his expression. Open, affectionate and so _hungry,_ Jesus Christ. And all for Isak, for Isak's body and what it can give to Even. What is his and his, alone.

It's too soon, still too much of a stretch and burn inside of him-- but Isak moves anyway, his thighs straining as he lifts his hips, almost all the way up. Even just barely stays inside, before Isak sinks down again, moaning at the feeling, Even's dick, a delicious friction along his walls.

Even's mouth falls open, those soft lips parted, as his eyes flutter to half mast and his hands grip even tighter on Isak's skin. Isak wants to lean down and kiss him but more that that, he wants to do what Even does so much to him-- have control, take his lover apart, fuck him the way he likes getting fucked, hard and fast and so good. He speeds up, rising and falling in faster increments, his hands coming to rest on Even's chest for leverage as he fucks himself down on Even's cock, again and again.

And Even asks, "Can I? Isak-- "

"No," Isak tells him, "Be still. I need you to-- "

"Fuck," Even makes a wounded, almost whimpering sound as Isak grinds down at a particularly nice angle. Isak knows, understands how badly Even just wants to take back control and fuck and rut inside of him until they both lose their minds from it-- but he also knows that Even will stay still, will let Isak move the way he wants, use his cock to make himself feel good, so it touches that spot that lights him up every time Even brushes along it.

And besides, "So close, baby. Just...a little bit..."

As much as he was expecting it, it feels like a surprise when Isak comes, his cock twitching as he spills, warm and wet, onto Even's stomach. He watches as Even watches it, the man's face almost pained from how much he wants to do the same, wants to come inside of Isak.

Sometimes Isak can do it twice, in a ridiculously short amount of time-- another minute, maybe two, of rocking up and down, even faster and harder than before and then he'll tense up and do it again. He shoots less this time but it feels better, he always feels even more the second time, because somehow that's a thing that's possible.

"I can't," Even is saying, when Isak's come down again. "Please...I need..." And it sends a thrill through Isak's entire body and he shivers with it as he asks, "Fuck me, you have to-- " his words cut off by the sudden snap of Even's hips. It only takes a few thrusts, perfectly aimed over Isak's oversensitive spot, a litany of curses and blasphemy intercepted with Isak's name spill from Even's mouth, before he tenses up and a short moment passes before Even gasps and orgasms.

Isak closes his eyes and he imagines he can feel it spill out of Even and into him and it's so good, "Love it," Isak admits, unnecessarily, because Even knows, he says it all the time. "Love you," he says, "... so much."

Even nods, seemingly incapable of returning the sentiment in words but that's okay, Isak knows-- doesn't need to hear the words-- not all the time.

Not when Even shows it to him, every day and in so many ways.


	2. Married People Sex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's their wedding night...

**Married People Sex**

 

Isak has had a lot of sex.

Isak has had a lot of sex with Even-- makes sense since he's _only ever_ had sex with Even. Which became an issue for Even a few years back-- but never for Isak. Why the fuck would he want anyone else when Even fucks him so good? It's stupid. Even was stupid. But eventually he came to his senses and Isak - being the nice guy that he is - took pity on him and took him back.

Which brings them here.

Married.

They were married.

_Holy shit._

"Even, we're fucking married right now, dude. Can you believe it?"

Isak can't. Like. _What?_ He gets to keep Even forever and ever and that's _so awesome_ what the fuck?

Even looks down at him-- his arms folded around Isak's shoulders, Isak's head resting against his chest-- that familiar look of his, that's so fucking soft and he laughs at Isak and smiles and it's _so warm_ like the sun and Isak loves him so much _God--_

So he sits up-- just enough to hug Even. Because he wants to and because he can-- because Even is his _husband_ whoah, like-- what the fuck? Even laughs louder, probably because Isak's said these things out loud-- he's only now realizing.

He loses his filter when he gets drunk or tipsy and he's definitely the latter-- but it's not like he minds saying these things to Even.

So he just smiles and tilts his head up, silently asking for a kiss. Even - because he's the best husband _ever_ \- gives him what he wants and presses his lips against Isak's.

It's nice, really very nice, but it's not _enough._

Isak's had a lot of sex but he's never had _married people sex_ shit, that needs to happen right the fuck now...

"Baby-- baby, no," Even takes Isak's hand away from his dick. Which. Wow, rude. "We're still in the limo, remember? We're on our way to the hotel."

Isak huffs, "I fucking know that, Even. I'm not drunk-- I know where I am, what the hell?" Even's being stupid again. God.

He laughs again and Isak doesn't like it as much this time. "Don't laugh at me-- you have to be nice to me all the time now 'cause were married."

"I'm always nice to you," Even says, pulling Isak closer, his one arm around Isak's shoulder-- raising his other hand to run fingers through Isak's hair. Even kisses his cheek and Isak melts just a little bit because it's true. Even's so nice. And amazing. Isak climbs into his lap.

"Oh my god, Isak-- "

"Ssh," Isak tells him, wrapping both arms around his neck. If they're in the car then they shouldn't make noise. It's fine if they're quiet. "It's okay," he tells Even and grinds down, his hard dick against where he feels Even taking more and more interest in proceedings.

"Isak, love-- "

Even's still talking too much-- so Isak shuts him up the only way he knows how, which is covering Even's mouth in kisses that turn more hungry, more filthy by the second.

It's not long before Isak's got Even's tongue in his mouth and Even moaning loudly and grabbing onto his ass. _Fuck yes._ Isak hears a mechanical sound in the background, doesn't know what it is-- couldn't give less of a fuck but Even apparently does because he says, "Thank fuck-- partition's up," and Isak thinks that's great because now he can get Even's dick in his mouth. He's on his knees in a heartbeat.

"Oh fuck, baby, what are you doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm blowing you, idiot."

"Yeah-- okay-- _Isak..."_

Isak moans and shivers at the way Even says his name like that.

He's got Even's trousers open and he just needs-- "Lift your hips." Even does and Isak pulls his pants and underwear down and Isak's _mouth waters_ Even's so hard and wet with precum.

Isak needs to taste him so bad-- so he does, moaning loudly as he takes Even into his mouth.

Above him, all he hears is repeated variations on, _Isak_ and _baby_ and a bunch of blasphemous cussing-- but all Isak can focus on is how good it is-- all of this--

Even's taste flooding his mouth--

the weight of Even on his tongue--

the pull of Even's fingers in his hair as he draws Isak down, pumps his hips and pushes inside of Isak's throat.

Isak moans like a whore-- quite literally gagging for it and it hurts a little bit--choking on Even's dick-- sometimes Even gets as rough as he is gentle--

But Isak loves it, god. Half the time they fuck like this and he doesn't know if he's crying from pain or how _out of his mind_ good it makes him feel.

"Fuck, yeah-- take it, baby. You're doing it so good, Isak. So good for me."

Isak gives a broken moan around Even's cock. All it takes is pressing the palm of his hand into the buldge of his erection - _god damn praise kink again_ \- for him to start coming-- making a mess of himself in his expensive suit trousers.

About a minute later, he makes a mess of Even's too when he can't swallow fast enough when he comes. Even always shoots so much, and Isak fucking loves it. He loves it so much. Fuck. He's still nuzzling Even's dick when the car comes to a stop.

"I can't move," he declares, from where he's nothing more than a sated puddle on the floor of the limo. "You have to carry me. That's a thing, right?"

"Carry over the threshold-- " Even pants, still catching his breath. "You realize that makes you the bride in this comparison."

"I don't give a shit. Oh my god, _married people sex_ is fucking amazing."

Even makes a noise that sounds like enthusiastic agreement.

"Okay," Isak says, getting up and trying to fix them up to be presentable to the world outside this vehicle. "Come on, I don't give a shit how exhausted we both are okay-- you're going to fuck me into that hotel mattress."

Even arches his eyebrows, "Was that ever a question?"

Isak can't help it-- his mouth just automatically forms a stupidly besotted smile. _Even_ though. He's just-- he's Isak's fucking husband.

"You're my fucking husband," Even says, seemingly stunned-- all wide eyed and fucking awed-- like it's only _now_ hitting him.

"I know," Isak laughs, and presses a quick kiss to his lips. "Come on, husband," he says, opening the car door, "Your marital duties await."

***

Even does this thing where he just-- rips Isak's clothes off him like he doesn't give a shit about anything except getting him naked right the fuck now.

And it's hot as hell, how desperate, how hungry this man - Isak's man-- _Isak's husband_ \- gets for him. It's always overwhelming. With Isak just trying to keep up and not fall to the floor, a total mess because Even makes his knees so fucking weak. He usually just goes along with it and tries to help as much as he's capable of while feeling so completely wrecked by Even. Except that's not gonna work for him right now.

"Even-- no, no, no-- _are you kidding me?"_

The guy that Isak totally married-- like, five hours ago-- gives him this precious confused look that's laced with a little bit of annoyance because obviously he thinks Isak's being difficult right now. Even doesn't like it when people get in the way of him getting naked with Isak. He's a nice guy and everything but Isak's lost count of the amount of times he's shut doors in people's faces and literally told them to fuck off. Their friends really should know better by now. Probably Even's thinking Isak should too. He's too cute.

"This suit is fucking Armani, are you serious? You can't just rip it off me!"

"Watch me," Even says--

Isak laughs because he's a total enabler of Even's terrible behavior but he doesn't give in-- swats Even's hands away. "Go sit on the bed."

"Huh?"

Isak laughs harder at the wounded expression on Even's face. Isak's husband is _so cute,_ oh my God. "Sit on the bed. Wait. Watch me, yeah?"

Comprehension dawns on Even's face, like mist clearing before the sun. His eyes go dark and he swallows thickly. His voice sounds a few octaves lower than usual - _how is that even possible_ \- as he asks, "You're gonna strip for me, baby? Put on a show for daddy?" _Jesus Christ._ Isak blushes. He hates when Even says shit like that-- it's completely fucking embarrassing. Not just that something like that actually came out of Even's mouth-- but because of how it makes Isak _feel._

He actually whimpers and feels himself flush even further. _Fucking Even._ Isak's two seconds away from saying _fuck it_ to his previous plan of taking his own clothes off-- and just throwing himself at Even (who, you know, is his husband now) but Even reads him like an open book--

"No, baby. Love that idea. Wanna see you, Isak," he says leaning into Isak and running his lips along Isak's neck and behind his ear. Isak shivers, feels Even's smile against his skin. Okay-- yeah, okay. Isak pushes Even back and Even goes with it, settles on the bed.

Even's already removed his own suit jacket-- and a couple of the buttons on his shirt were undone earlier in the car when he took off his bowtie only to leave it hanging around the collar of his shirt. He lools like something out of fucking GQ. He looks like every wet dream Isak's ever had. He's so beautiful and Isak totally married him. The thought gives him butterflies and makes his dick press uncomfortably against the zip of his trousers. Even's similarly affected as far as Isak can tell-- his legs spread wide enough that Isak could easily crawl in between them. He already did that though, and he shouldn't be greedy.

Isak starts taking off his jacket and blushes again-- because he didn't even take it off earlier, too desperate to suck Even's dick. He's such a slut for this guy. Fuck. Even's eyes are intense as fuck, as he follows along with Isak's movements-- pulling the jacket off his shoulders and over his arms in a rush, Isak desposits it none too gently over the back of a nearby chair.

"Now, baby. I thought you were going to be gentle with your designer threads." Shit. Right. That's totally why Isak's doing this. "You should go a little slower," Even suggests, the undercurrent of tease in his voice making Isak's dick twitch. Seriously-- he needs to get naked. What's with the selfinflicted torture, Isak, you idiot. He swallows and tries to focus on what he's supposed to be doing. _Putting on a show for Even. Who is his husband._ Okay. He's got this.

His own tie he removes easily and then he turns to safely deposit it on the chair. Next he starts on the buttons of his shirt and yeah, it's good. Seeing how Even squirms under Isak's watch and as he watches Isak expose more and more of his skin with every button he releases. Isak's knows he's leaking precome something fierce inside his trousers-- both of them probably. Still. He goes slow.

Once he's carefully arranged his shirt over the chair, he pulls off his undershirt and hears the hitch of Even's breath as his upper body is completely revealed.

"Fuck, Isak. How are you so beautiful?"

Isak doesn't say anything to that-- never knows what to say except variations of _have you seen yourself lately?_ so he doesn't add anything--and kicks off his shoes and unbuttons his pants. He could drop both his pants and underwear-- he knows how badly even wants to see his dick. But. Even's got a white knuckled grip onto the bedsheets, like he's trying to keep from reaching for Isak and pulling him closer.

Well. Isn't this fun. Just to be an absolute dick about it, Isak turns to face the chair, turning his back on Even. And only then does he start pushing his trousers down, bending over as the fabric falls down his legs, his hands tracing over his skin along with it. Even makes a strangled sound behind him, his gaze most likely locked on Isak's ass. Luckily he can't see Isak's smirk. While he's down there Isak takes the opportunity to remove his socks. He turns around and Even says, "Oh fuck," and Isak knows the buldge in his briefs is obscene-- he's so hard, fuck.

But so is the stain from his earlier orgasm and the newer wet stain from where he's been steadily leaking precum. Even licks at his lips-- probably doesn't even realize he's doing it-- and Isak thinks, _fuck, yes, please_ He's right in front of Even in about three strides. He moans when Even's hands grab onto his ass. And again when Even mouths at him through the wet fabric. Isak closes his eyes and prays for his knees to not go completely weak.

Even licks at him through his briefs-- again and again-- fingers digging into Isak's ass. They're both moaning-- Isak even louder when Even seems to find the head of his cock and starts sucking at it through the wet fabric. It's so fucking good. Isak wants so much _more._

"Even, please. Put it in your mouth. Need-- "

"Fuck, Isak, you taste so-- how are you mine?"

"I am," Isak promises, his fingers running through Even's hair, loosening it from it's carefullyconstructed style. "I'm yours, Even. Just yours."

"My baby, Isak" Even says, his breath ghosting along Isak's cock. "My husband."

"Oh fuck," Isak bites down on his bottom lip _hard_ and somehow manages not to come on the spot.

Even's hands drag his underwear down and then he's swallowing Isak down, drowning him in heat and soft wetness, all around his cock. Even's really good at blowjobs. It's not like Isak forgot but-- yeah. This is a nice reminder. Even's hands on his ass pull him closer, encouraging Isak to thrust into his mouth and into his throat and Isak greedily takes the invitation. He closes his eyes because he can't look down and see what Even's doing to him, the sight would be too much stimulation right now. He tightens his fingers, pulling at Even's hair and making him moan around Isak's cock, the vibrations adding to the sensation overload Isak's experiencing.

With what little mental acuity he has left he debates the merits of letting Even suck him until he comes-- right now, in his mouth-- or waiting until he has Even inside of him. In the end, it's not really that much of a debate. Even seems to agree because he pulls back-- if a little hesitant to let Isak go. He licks at Isak's cock a few more times, presses a soft kiss to his stomach.

"Baby, I need to be in you so bad."

"Me too. I mean. Need you to fuck me, Even. I've never-- "

"Hmm? What, baby?" Even leans back and starts getting naked. All Isak can do is watch.

"I've never had my husband's dick inside of me before."

Even moans, low and needy. "God, Isak, you're killing me."

"Just fuck me, Even, please."

"Don't have to beg, love."

"No?"

Even smirks, "Not tonight."

Even's as fast with getting himself naked as he is with getting Isak naked which is wonderful--

Because it's not long at all until he's got Isak underneath him, moaning and licking into his mouth and desperately bucking up against him.

"Shit," Even says, "Lube. It's-- " He leans back.

"No, no-- " Isak almost cries, half out of his mind with lust as his hands hold on to Even's arms. "Don't go."

"Be right back, baby. Just a second."

It's more like ten but then Even _does_ come back and Isak's less bereft and sad and just really really desperate for dick.

Even knows this obviously, and starts opening Isak up with two fingers. Isak's eyes roll back, his hips bucking up and trying to get Even's fingers deeper inside of him. He's aware - in a kind of far away sense - that it's supposed to hurt-- being opened up this roughly and it sort of does. The pleasure just outweighs any pain, so much. As does the need to get Even inside of him _right fucking now._

"It's enough," he keeps saying as Even preps him. "I'm good, Even, please."

"You're so tight, baby. So fucking perfect. Would never hurt you." _You do it all the time, asshole._ Isak wants to say.

But no, not in any real way-- not in a permanent way. Even would never. Even loves him too much. Even takes care of him. Forever now. Always.

"Please," Isak begs, tears all over his cheeks that Even keeps kissing away. He just wants it so bad-- he's gonna die soon. If he doesn't--

But then Even removes his fingers, all four of them and Isak moans and cries some more, this time cause he feels so empty. "God, baby, you're so beautiful, crying for my dick like this."

_Fucking give it to me then,_ is totally what Isak would say, if he could get any fucking words out. What he can manage, apparently, is a moan that borders on a scream-- when Even pushes his ridiculously huge dick inside of him. Seriously-- the thing is crazy. Isak was legit afraid of it for a good two months. With good reason. God, it hurts. _So good._ Fuck. Fuck. How? How the fuck is this Isak's? How the fuck did that happen?

"Oh my _God,_ Isak."

He does everything he can think of to let Even know how badly he wants it-- wraps legs and arms around him, moves with him as much as possible-- what little speech he can manage is all a litany asking for _harder_ and _faster_ and _more, please, Even, more..._

Even's usually got pretty good endurance going for him-- now's not one of those times. He licks into Isak's mouth and starts shaking, in what must be one hell of an intense orgasm, from the way he's shaking apart and the sounds he makes. Isak vaguely hopes this coming fast thing isn't an effect of having married people sex-- that it's just so good that from now on, Even's always gonna come in under five minutes. That's probably fine though cause Isak's gonna be right there with him. Like now, the feeling of Even fucking come inside of him too much and he comes all over himself, white light exploding behind his closed eyelids as he holds on to Even, fingers digging into his arms for something to ground him.

They're never like this-- seriously, Even's gonna get it together, right? But Isak's most likely being ridiculous, mind all melted from getting dick this good. What's he even on about? Married people sex is fucking awesome.

"I've never-- " Even moans again, his breath brushing against Isak's skin from where his face is buried in his neck. Even's still moving in and out of him a few more times and Isak feels all sensitive but he's not about to stop Even. "Never come so hard in my life before," he finishes.

"Mhm," is all that Isak says-- because decent higher function is still pretty much beyond him. His fingers find Even's hair, running through sweaty locks. Even's heavy on top of him and he doesn't care. They should probably get cleaned up but he wants this, wants to keep Even inside of him forever.

"Thank you," Even says, and Isak snorts in laughter. He knows the sex was pretty great but there's no need for a _thank you._ Then Even adds, "For choosing me to be your forever," and suddenly Isak's eyes are misty and he's gonna cry. He's pathetic, so he does. But it's just a little bit. It's fine. He tries to get his shit together but it takes a minute as he matches his breathing to Even's until it evens out.

"You've always been my forever," he tells Even.

Isak feels Even's smile form against his skin, feels Even's lips press a kiss there. "Me too," he says, "It's nice to have it offical."


	3. Valhalla and Nirvana

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So there's this box and Even finds it and there's something inside it that Isak gets all shy and embarrassed about... any guesses what it is?

**Valhalla and Nirvana**

 

"No! No, not that-- " Isak tries to tell him-- but it's one of those _oops, too late_ kinds of situations, you know. Even's all about boundaries and respecting the ones that other people set-- well, he tries, for the most part-- and if he'd understood that he shouldn't look for extra lube in _this_ particular box that Isak brought along from his old apartment then he wouldn't have done it-- if Isak told him not to. Which he totally tried to but uh--

"Um," Even looks up from the box (and it's contents) back to Isak-- gorgeous, wonderful Isak who Even gets to have as his boyfriend-- his homie, partner, lover and best friend who is almost certainly the love of his life.

And for almost two weeks now - Even is literally the luckiest asshole in the world - Isak's also the person he gets to be with all the time-- because they live together, they're making a home with each other and the thought alone makes Even's stomach flutter horrendously with butterflies.

It's almost enough to distract him from the box (and it's contents). _Almost._ But not quite.

"So," Even begins-- only to be cut off by Isak's panicked rambling.

"You weren't supposed to see that! You were not-- I was gonna-- I mean," Isak moves, crawling across their _(their!)_ bed on his knees and Even blinks and swallows around his dry throat and wonders if Isak even remembers, through the haze of his panic, that he's wonderfully naked right now. Even stares. Mostly at Isak's dick (in his defense, it's a really nice dick) only to be snapped out of it by Isak grabbing the box (and it's contents) from his hands.

"So yeah, I can just...take it and I'll just throw it out and-- " _Huh?_

"Huh?" Even asks, frowning down at the beautiful and blushing boy kneeling on the bed before him. What a fucking sight, Jesus Christ. But also, "Why would you throw out your dildo?"

_"Oh my God,_ Even," Isak looks like he wants to die. He's completely mortified, poor angel. Even has to try really hard not to laugh. He bites the inside of his cheek painfully and just barely manages to control himself. "Why do you have to-- urgh, just let me-- "

"No, wait," Even stops Isak, with both hands on his shoulders. His little nymph genuinely looks like he's about to bolt from the room, naked (which, by the way, is Even's move, not his) and find the nearest industrial garbage bin. "Baby, come on," he tries, "...don't freak out. You don't have to freak out about this."

Isak blinks wide, innocent-looking green eyes up at him and Even could just _melt_ he's such a sight, it's ridiculous, the blush still prominent on his cheeks and down his neck and over his chest. His naked chest. Even licks his lips.

"I'm not freaking out," Isak lies (Even quickly lifts his eyes back up from checking Isak out) "It's just embarrassing that you like... found that."

Yeah, Isak's gonna have to explain that one a little better because Even doesn't know what the fuck is up with it.

"Don't give me that look," Isak says, his voice doing that irritated and grumpy thing it does that makes Even want to tackle him into whatever is the nearest available soft surface and cuddle him to death. Right now the nearest surface is their bed and if Even tackles a naked Isak, that would make for some seriously interesting cuddling. He suddenly becomes aware of the fact that he hasn't lost a fraction of his erection since he was forced-- by a horny and impatient Isak-- to go find lube.

The fact that he instead found box containing a sex toy that Isak's put up his own ass to make himself feel good ( _I wanna see, oh please god, can I see,_ goes Even's brain) well, it hasn't exactly done anything to stem that whole hard dick situation. If anything it's made it worse.

It's also put this anxious look on Isak's face and Even doesn't like that. He doesn't like that at all.

"Okay, let's do this," he says, his hands automatically moving to remove the source of Isak's anxiety-- on second thought, not such a good call considering the way Isak's instantly holds it to his chest like it's his precious baby that he has to protect from Even or something.

Honestly, Even is _so_ offended by all of this-- or he would be, if he didn't know exactly how shy Isak can become, how private of a person he is-- even with Even, who he's allowed closer than anyone else and how amazing is that-- that _he's_ the one this precious boy chooses to trust again and again, every day.

Even wants, so much-- more than _anything_ really-- to be worthy of that trust.

"If it makes you uncomfortable, we can totally put it away-- "

"Throw it away," Isak says, eyebrows raising, eyes dead serious and Even smiles because _nope,_ that's not gonna happen (unless Isak insists that it happen, in which case, fine because, again, _boundaries_ )

Even puts up his hands, "But can I just say though-- that the thought of you playing with that," he points at Isak's precious baby box for sex toys, "... is without a single doubt, one of the fucking hottest things I've ever fucking imagined?"

Isak blushes again, even deeper this time, his mouth falling wide open-- and when it does that, Even always has to to fight the urge to stick his thumb or his dick in there, now of course being no exception-- Isak, he blinks those doe eyes at Even... eyes that are going darker by the second as his baby boy seems to realize that yes, Even is absolutely not fucking around. Isak all alone in his room playing with his ass? Fucking himself with that thing? That's serious stuff right there.

"Really?" Isak asks, all disbelief and tentative interest and shyness and he's so cute, Even can't stand it and he wants to throw himself off a cliff-- only _not_ because that would make Isak sad and he'd never intentionally do anything to make Isak sad-- but still. He's just _so_ fucking adorable.

"Yes, baby, holy shit-- _are you kidding me?_ I'd give you anything in the fucking world to see it for myself."

"You want me to..."

"You don't have to," Even tells him, because that's important too. "Not tonight or ever if you don't want but yes. _God yes."_

"It does-- " Isak licks his lips-- he's always licking his lips and he's explained a thousand times that it isn't sexual but Even still gets distracted by it all the time-- this time it feels sexual, alright. Isak's getting turned on by the idea. Even wants to do a happy dance. "It does feel really good," Isak says, and Even can't hold back a moan-- this kid will be the death of him, seriously-- and Isak looks all surprised and it's that shit, you know? Isak doesn't even mean for half of the shit he says and does to make Even go insane with lust-- but it still happens because Isak's some kind of ethereal being with a direct line of impact to Even's dick. And his heart. Mostly his heart. But also, very very much, his dick.

"Not as good as you," Isak says, and oh-- now he's getting brave, Even absolutely lives for it. Naughty, teasing Isak. Bring it on, baby boy. "That's why I didn't think I needed it anymore, because you're here and I'm here and we're here together and you're _mine,_ right, Even?" He asks, like it's still a fucking question.

"I'm all yours, baby," Even tells him, his words coming out in that lower register he usually only gets when Isak's really really close to coming and Even's whispering all kinds of filthy shit in his ear, to make him blush and shake and fall apart. "And so is my dick but uh-- "

"You want to see me use it, daddy?"

Even's world goes a little blurry at the edges-- and he honest to God, gives a growl and fuck it, that's it-- a man can only stand so much. Isak laughs and _laughs_ as he's tackled to the bed, pinned underneath Even. It's a nice sound. One of Even's absolute favorites. Perhaps his all time favorite, up there with the instrumental version of that Desiree song and Isak's little whimpers of desperation when Even's teasing at his slicked up hole with his cock and Isak just wants it fucking _in_ already.

"Show me," he pants, begs, against Isak's neck. He's desperate as hell, turned on out of his mind, and liable to shoot off at the mere sight of this happening but he's willing to risk it, okay? Even's being really brave right now. He deserves a reward or something. "Please, please, show me."

"Okay," Isak says.

_Holy shit._ He said okay.

Wow.

The dildo isn't is as big as Even's cock, which he's oddly pleased with for some reason and it's a pink, fleshy color and Even wonders, as he's stretching Isak open with two fingers-- then three, staying away from his prostate for now (Isak is so deliciously responsive to direct stimulation and can only really stand it when they're actually fucking)-- Even wonders, and it's such a self-indulgent egotistical thing, but he can't help but asks, "Did you ever think of me when you were fucking yourself with it?"

"Yes," Isak moans immediately, his hips undulating in rhythm with the way Even's fingers are moving. "Yes, yes, _all the time,_ Even."

"Before or after the first time we fucked?"

"Before," Isak says and gives a little breathless huff of laughter, "Much, much before."

"Yeah?"

"Mhm," Isak moans, "Basically since I noticed you-- got me so hot thinking about you. I got so needy for it, Even. Just remembering your eyes on me."

"Shit, baby."

"Please, Even-- need something, anything... please."

Fuck, Isak always begs so nicely. He's so fucking good for Even. He tells Isak as much and the boy closes his eyes and moans at the praise, his dick twitching as a bit of precome leaks onto his stomach. Even wants to lick it-- there's literally nothing stopping him from doing so-- and he does, his cheeks brushing against Isak's full and flushed cock. Isak shivers. He's so close already. Fuck. This isn't going to last very long.

Even hastily gets a condom and pulls it over the toy and takes a breath before he positions it at Isak's entrance. Isak's hips lift up automatically-- always so _impatient._ Sometimes Even has to show him his place and make him behave-- be good to show he really deserves it-- but Even doesn't have that in him right now. He just wants to _see_ it slip inside of Isak, slowly filling him up, his hole stretching around it as it makes him feel good. Yeah. _Yes._

Even stares into Isak's eyes, so dark at half mast, and pushes in, the head of the dildo slipping into that tight hole. Isak's dick leaks some more and yeah, it's not far at all, his orgasm. He keens and arches, trying to get more of it inside and Even gives it to him, gives more, until it's all the way inside. Isak's used to taking his cock by now and it's much bigger than the dildo so Even figures he doesn't need that much time to adjust. Isak agrees apparently.

"Fuck me," he breathes, "Even."

"Yeah," Even says, and does it, reluctantly looking away from Isak's face down to his stretched out hole. _In and out,_ he pushes and watches, completely enraptured, as Isak takes it so good, his body opening up so beautifully and Even's cock aches so bad to be inside of that tightness, that warmth but _this_ is fucking hot and he isn't going to stop until Isak is a complete and total mess from it.

Even speeds up the movement of his hand and Isak moans loudly, over and over, moans, "Yes, fuck me, daddy," and Even is helpless to do anything but comply, angling so he hits that spot that lights his baby up from inside and it's not a minute after he finds it that Isak's shaking and shivering, shouting Even's name and spilling all over his belly-- it's fucking _gorgeous._

"Come," Isak pants, his hips still riding the dildo in his ass, "Come on me, in me, I don't care, just-- "

_Fuck yes._

It's a good thing Even's ambidextrous, so he can keep fucking Isak's probably over sensitive hole (he's all but begging for it, poor baby) and jerk his own cock. When Even comes-- when he comes with Isak, it's the best high that Even's ever been able to achieve, it's reaching Valhalla and Nirvana both at once-- a sense of euphoria so good and pure and free of any bad thoughts or fears. That he gets to have it is unbelievable. That he gets to have _Isak._ Yes, Even's thoughts are always this sappy when he's coming his brains out. He doesn't give a shit.

He collapses, half ontop of Isak and there is-- come between them, that's sticky and kind of gross-- weird how sometime Even wants to eat it off of Isak or rub it into his skin-- and sometimes all he wants is a shower and to get new sheets on the bed. Right now he isn't feeling any of those options-- he can't do any of that because he can't fucking move.

"Jesus, Even, you know you're fucking heavy right?" Isak complains but he doesn't shove Even off, his hands coming around Even's neck. Isak's lips press against his temple, Even's stomach flips and Isak runs fingers through his hair and Even feels himself getting sleepy...

"Even," Isak says and Even grunts his acknowledgement. "Dude, it's still..."

Even lifts his head. "Huh?"

"The thing is still in my ass!"

Even completely loses his shit at that-- stomach hurting and tears forming in his eyes. Isak glares at his laughter but Even can't-- he can't stop--

He does when Isak shuts him up with a hungry, frantic kiss.

"Think you can get it up again?" Isak asks, minutes later. "I still need your dick."

Even moans and buries his face in Isak's neck.

Isak's definitely going to be the death of him.


	4. You Woke Me Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things that really happened: hand holding and a flower in Isak's hair.

**Maybe I Fell In Love When You Woke Me Up**

 

Even startles at the sound of a small whimper of pain-- that normally wouldn't be enough to wake him up but...since Isak got hurt he's been on high alert, vigilant in the way he wasn't when someone made his baby, his heart, bleed. Isak wakes up too, moving away from where he'd been nuzzling into Even's back, when the contact hurt his already hurt face.

"Baby," Even says, in lieu of a 'good morning' and he hears the pout in his voice, the unhappiness. Isak turns to look at him with a smile on his face.

"Hi," he says, "Good morning."

"You okay?" Even asks, rolling onto his side and closer to Isak. He can't resist lifting his hand, index finger tracing lightly-- ever so slightly-- across the darkened skin around Isak's eye. Isak let's him. Probably would even if the touch wasn't too soft, even if it hurt him.

That's what Isak does-- he let's Even touch him, even if it might hurt him. Not nearly for the first time, guilt swells up inside of Even and he bites down on his lip. Isak's eyes drop down to his mouth.

"Kiss me," he says. Even does-- as soft and careful as he can make it. Isak allows that softness but only for a few seconds, before he's opening his lips against Even, demanding more. Even gives it to him. Anything. He'd give Isak anything he asks for really.

It's early still, half an hour before Even's alarm would have woken them up and it doesn't seem like going back to sleep is on Isak's mind. Not when he's pulling Even on top of him, his legs opening as he encourages Even to settle in between them.

They kiss and licks into each other's mouths, rock together, slow friction sending jolts of heat moving up and down Even's spine. Isak gives soft moans of pleasure that make his breath catch in his lungs. Even moves off Isak a little bit, ignoring his displeased whimper he gets for his efforts, moving his hand between them to pull down Isak's briefs and his boxers. He takes them both in hand before leaning down again and kissing Isak deeply.

It doesn't take long for Isak to tense up and come with a shiver underneath Even. The sight, the sounds that Isak makes and the increased wetness on his hand and their lengths, more than enough to send him over the edge as well.

He buries his face in Isak's neck and breathes, doing his best, depite how weak he feels after orgasm, not to crush Isak under his weigh. Isak's lips find the shell of his ear, warm and soft. Even's never known this feeling in his chest before Isak. He'll never know it again, if there ever exists a time after Isak.

He prays there never will.

***

Isak is the one to notice the flowers as they walk to school and Even follows his eyes and sees them too. He does it within thinking, letting go of Isak's hand to drop down and pick, just one. He gets up and walks back to Isak's side and smiles at Isak's questioning look. He fits the flower between the thick waves of Isak's hair, caressing the back of his fingers along his jaw and loves the shy smile, the blush that blooms on Isak's cheeks.

"You're ridiculous," Isak says, rolling his eyes.

"You're beautiful."

Issk scoffs but his smile grows a little wider. He slips his hand in Even's again, fingers intertwining with each other.

"Come on," Isak pulls him in the direction of their school, "Don't want to be late."

Isak doesn't once let go of his hand, as they walk, side by side. Even doesn't either.


	5. What Keeps Me Satisfied

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When it's bad, it's awful-- but when it's good...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is porn, not a commentary on MI and/or bipolar disorder.

**These Battles Are What Keeps Me Satisfied**

 

It's a _Fredag_ and there's a party. Isak's standing in the kitchen and talking to Magnus when he hears the noise and commotion coming from the next room.

Maybe it's a sixth sense or maybe it's just experience, but he knows what the cause of that noise is immediately. It must show on his face because he catches a look of sympathy on Magnus' that sends a spark of irritation up his spine. Isak ignores it, puts his beer down on the counter and heads into the livingroom.

He doesn't spot Even immediately but he sees a bunch of people standing in a semi circle, some of them with their phones out and Isak rushes past them, uncaring of the "Hey," and "Watch it,"s being called. Once he's pushed through them he finds exactly what he'd predicted. Even's got someone, some guy that Isak doesn't recognize, pressed up against the wall. He's bleeding, the guy, his lip split open. He's still hurling obscenities at Even and Isak watches as Even pulls one of his arms away from the guy's chest, hand forming a fist and that's when Isak moves, doesn't hesitate to do so.

"Even," he says, his hand curling around a tightly tensed bicep. "Come on, stop."

The guy against the wall looks at him like he thinks he's insane or something. Isak gets that a lot-- when he's getting into Even's space when he's like this, people generally doubt his self preservation instinct. He's used to it so he ignores that too.

"Even," Isak says again, this time more insistent. Even blinks, once, twice. And turns to look at Isak. As usual his eyes are completely clear when he does, free of the violence and anger he reserves for the rest of the world.

"Isak," he says, sounding all surprised, like he forgot Isak was even at this party. "Hey, Isak."

Isak sqeezes his arm, "Come on, let's get out of here."

Which is when the guy against the wall decides he's had enough of being ignored and says, "What, is this your little bitch or something?"

Instant dread fills Isak's stomach because yeah... whatever the guy said to piss Even off in the first place, it's in no way even comparable to what he just did.

"Shit," Isak says-- "Um. Even, come on," he tries-- but it's like Even doesn't hear him and Isak steps back and away.

He doesn't want to see this. He can't. He moves through the people again and straight out of the front door. His eyes burn because he fucking hurts all over.

"Isak!" Someone calls behind him, "Isak, man, are you okay?"

Isak blinks to clear his eyes before he can bring himself to face Jonas. He clears his throat. "Fine," he says.

Jonas looks pissed, "I can't believe he's pulling this shit again," he scoffs, "What am I saying? It's _Even_ of course he's-- "

"Jonas," Isak cuts him off, "Don't, okay?"

"I just," Jonas shakes his head, like he just _can't_ and Isak knows. He fucking _knows_ okay? "I dont understand why you're with him," he finishes and Isak hears footsteps and looks past Jonas' shoulder. Sees Even. Tall and dangerous, with his tight black jeans and his heavy boots, hair a mess but somehow preserving the joint behind his ear. White t-shirt stained with blood that isn't his.

_Why are you with him?_

_"Halla,"_ Even says gruffly as he comes to stand with them. Jonas tenses as Even looks down at him.

"Just what the fuck is wrong with you?" He starts and Isak _can't_ with this shit. He's already too tired.

"Jonas," he tries, but his friends apparently particularly fired up tonight.

"Why the fuck do you pull this shit, man. Fuck. Look at him," he says-- pointing at Isak-- who watches as Even's jaw clenches tight.

"Stop. Jonas," he says again. _Fuck._

"He deserves so much fucking better than you," Jonas spits out.

Even shrugs, his expression a passive fakeness that only Isak can read, "Can't argue with you there."

Jonas looks like his head is going to explode so Isak grabs Even by the arm and _pulls,_ "I'll talk to you later, okay?" He says to Jonas.

"Isak," his friend says, sounding defeated. Yeah. Isak can relate.

"Just. Don't," he says. "I'm sorry."

"You don't have anything to fucking apologise for," Even pipes up.

"You. Shut up," Isak glares at him. "Bye, Jonas."

"Yeah," Jonas shakes his head. "See you."

Isak watches as he walks inside, shoulders slumped in defeat. His throat aches with how much he wants to cry. Even flinches against him and Isak realises he's been clenching his fingers, nails digging into the taller boy's skin.

"Oh," he says, looking at the indents, "I'm so sorry."

"Fuck," Even says, running a hand through his hair, making it an even bigger mess, "Baby, please stop apologizing."

Isak nods his head, tears spilling over his cheeks. He's just fucking worried, is all. He knows that Even can take care of himself but he could get arrested or a bunch of people can gang up on him, hurt him and then Isak will go out of his mind...

"Don't cry, Is," Even says, arms folding around him, and it's so fucked up. He's still got some guy's blood on his collar but Isak-- like this. With Even's arms around him. He always feels safe. _Always._ "I'm sorry," Even says, not bothering to offer up excuses. He knows they mean fuck all to Isak.

"Take me home," he tells Even, after a few more minutes and muttered apologies.

"Okay," Even says.

***

Eskild's good at hiding his judgement so it doesn't show at all when they pass him in the living room, exchanging _halla_ s as they move to Isak's bedroom.

As soon as the door is closed behind them, Isak grabs on to the hem of Even's bloody shirt and pulling up-- doesn't want it. Doesn't want it on Even because it doesn't belong. Not _here._

Even lifts his arms and let's Isak take it off and throw it away, in a far corner of his room. Let's Isak grab his face and pull him down and kiss his mouth.

Even moans against his lips, his hands settling into Isak's hips, pulling him closer. Even licks at his mouth, urging it opens and Isak obeys, letting Even's tongue inside.

Isak takes off most of his own clothes, his plaid shirt and his snap back and he breaks away from kissing Even-- just long enough to remove his shirt.

"Want you," he pants against Even's neck, as their naked chests meet. "Fuck, Even."

Even kisses him again, soft and deep and it's too gentle. Isak doesn't want gentle. Not yet. He just needs--

"Fuck me, yeah?"

"Isak," Even moans, trembling fingers finding Isak's belt buckle, trying to remove his pants.

"Please, Even," Isak begs. Even though he doesn't need to. He could have anything he wants right now. Even would give him anything-- the whole fucking universe if he could.

Outside. In the world, he has no control over this thing. He has no control over _Even_ because he's wild and damaged and not even Isak can fix him. God knows he's fucking tried but--

It doesn't matter how much he loves him, that's just not how it fucking works. Isak wishes-- so fucking much-- that wasn't the case but it's been two years and he's learned Even inside out. All this broken parts, the same way Even's learned his.

Which doesn't mean he's given up on Even, no--

Never.

"Isak...fuck," Even gasps, already sounding like it's too much. Like Isak's taking him apart by just rubbing his dick through his jeans. It's a heady rush, makes Isak feel powerful like nothing else. Christ. He wants to completely _wreck_ Even. If he can't put him back together then--

Even gives a broken moan when Isak drops to his knees, fingers frantic as they try to undo his jeans. They're fucking tight when Isak pulls them down. Even isn't wearing underwear. Figures. "Fuck," Isak moans and leans in to lick over the leaking head of Even's cock. And again, before he flattens his tongue along the base, licks a stripe all the way up.

"Fuck, Isak," Even practically keens and Isak can feel the tension in his body-- how much he wants this tease to end. How much he wants to be inside of Isak. Inside his mouth. Isak shivers all over.

"Baby," Even pleads and Isak, needing it just as bad, closes his mouth around him.

He loves this, loves doing this for Even.

And sometimes he likes it when-- when it's like Even is using him. Using his mouth and fucking him. Making Isak take him deep inside his throat.

But other times. Time likes now, Isak wants him _still._

He goes slow, moving his mouth up and down the length of Even. Getting all of him wet and incased in softness until Even takes a strangled breath and it's then that Isak pulls off most of the way, his lips tight around the head of Even's cock as he sucks.

"Fuck," Even swears above him, his hands moving into Isak's hair. Not pressing down-- Even knows him better than that. Knows that now isn't the time for that.

He let's Isak do what he wants, let's him suck as hard or easy as he wants, let's him take him into his throat for short bursts that make his thighs tremble against Isak's hands.

Even never gets too close, even though Isak knows he feels good, knows how wet and warm and perfect his mouth feels around him because Even keeps telling him so-- tells him how good he feels, how wonderful.

Isak manages to do it for a really long time but his dick is hard and neglected and leaking inside his briefs and he wants Even to fuck him. Badly. Wants him fucking inside of him. He blinks wet lashes up at Even, pulling off his dick and tells him as much. Even nods and leads them to bed.

Isak just wants fast, functional prep and Even reads that, gives him two fingers to start with. Even's fingers, his hands, are so big and starting off with two is a stretch. It burns but it doesn't hurt because Even--

Despite everything-- he would never cause Isak physical pain. There's a lot that's not right with their dynamic and Isak hurts a lot because of it. Even too. But he'd never ever use his hands to hurt Isak.

"Fuck, more," Isak demands, arching into the press of Even's fingers inside of him-- Even gives.

"How do you want me to..." Even asks, once he's pulled out his fingers and rubbed them off on the corner of Isak's bed sheets.

"Wanna see your face," Isak tells him, hands reaching for Even. He runs his fingers in Even's hair, bringing him down for a kiss, moaning when he feels Even settle between his spread legs and again, when he feels the head of Even's cock against his opening.

"Just in?" Even asks, voice slightly strained and Isak nods his head.

"Fuck me," he tells Even and loses his breath, when Even does, pushing inside his body in one, long thrust.

Isak's feeling stupid and reckless so despite it being too soon, too much, he arches against Even, rocking on his dick. Even hisses, "Baby," he says, hand caressing the side of Isak's face, "I've got you," he says, "It's okay. Relax for me."

"Please," Isak says, not even sure what the fuck he's asking for.

"I have you," Even says again and Isak's chest hitches with an aborted so.

"I love you," Isak tells him.

"Fuck," Even's dick twitches inside of him. "Love you too, Isak."

"Yeah?" Isak licks his lips. "Show me then."

Even moans, closing his eyes. He leans down and blindly kisses Isak and then he begins to move.

"Fuck," Isak moves his arms, folding around Even's neck. Even's length pushes inside of him, in and out, along his walls, sending frisons of pleasure straight through Isak's body. Over and over again.

"Fuck, baby, you feel so good around me," Even lets out a harsh breath, "Always so tight around me, Isak."

"Yeah," Isak agrees, mindless. _"Even,"_ he asks, "More, Even. Please."

"Okay," Even says, moving back, slipping out of Isak for a few agonising seconds, getting onto knees between Isak's legs. "Gonna fuck you now, okay baby?"

"Mhm," Isak arches his back, rocking down when Even pushes back inside of him.

Despite Even's words, he doesn't go fast at all but sets an easy pace that Isak matches as he moves with him.

Even's eyes never leave his, Isak's sure, even as he closes his own in the first few seconds after Even finds that spot that lights his entire body up from inside.

"You look so good, Isak. So good, baby," Even tells him when he opens his eyes again and Isak feels himself smile weakly at the praise. He feels good all over, loved and adored and only Even could make him feel like this.

And maybe it's because it's so bad when it's awful, with the two of them. They only work in extremes-- and maybe it shouldn't work at all.

But maybe that's for other people but not for them.

The bad's outweighed so much-- by this and everything they are when it's the two of them. Everything that no one else sees--

And maybe Isak fucked in the head or something because he doesn't even mind. He doesn't care that no one else sees who Even is when it comes to him. This is Isak's and Isak's alone.

Because when it's good, fuck.

When it's good, it's fucking increadible.

"Even," Isak whines and comes, biting down on his lip so hard he draws blood.

When he opens his eyes it's to find Even's eyes zeroed in on his mouth, eyes going wide, half concern and half arousal.

When Even tenses and comes inside of him, he still doesn't look away from Isak.

Isak shivers, his heart racing like mad in his chest.

Even collapses next to him, close but not enough to touch against Isak's overheated skin.

Isak stares up his ceiling and tries to catch his breath. He can hear Even next to him, doing the same.

"I don't get it," Even says, after a few minutes of synchronised inhales and exhales.

"Don't get what?" Isak asks, already knowing what Even's about to say.

"What Jonas said," Even tells him. "What everyone says."

"Fuck everyone," Isak tells him, turning on his side to look at Even. He waits until Even's looking at him and says, "They don't know shit about you and me."

"I'm fucked up, Is."

Isak smiles because the way Even says it, you'd think he was the only one.

"Yes, well," Isak tells him, before pressing a kiss against his cheek, "...nobody's perfect."


	6. My Kingdom For Your Graces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _"I want to fuck you," Isak says_

**My Kingdom For Your Graces**

 

At first Even doesn't get the message, even when Isak shifts his weight, pushing Even onto his back and lying down on top of him. When Isak kisses him, both hands on his face, angling the way Isak wants it, licking deep into mouth, moaning low when Even begins to suck on his tongue, he still doesn't get it. Isak rocks against him, the brief clad lengths of their cocks rubbing against each other and it's good, all of it. Isak's weight on top of him, the way Isak's kissing him and moving and his hands on Even's hips. Even could probably come, just from this but it's not what he wants. He isn't completely sure _what_ he wants and it feels weird. Not _bad_ weird necessarily. He makes a noise he doesn't recognize when Isak stops kissing him, moving off him.

"Just getting lube," Isak says and Even feels reassured. He relaxes, feels like he's sinking deeper into their bed as he waits for Isak to come back. It's probably just a few seconds before he does but Even feels like he's missed him. Isak puts the lube down and reaches for the waist band of Even's briefs and pulls them down and off and licks at his bottom lip as he takes in the sight of Even's cock. Heat pools in Even's stomach at the action, the idea of it. He's fully expecting to get his dick sucked but instead Isak goes for the lube.

"I was thinking," Isak says, sounding breathless and...just slightly nervous. Even still hasn't copped onto what's happening so he's confused. Isak rubs a hand along his thigh. The action relaxes Even immediately. "I was thinking that maybe I could fuck you."

"Huh?"

Isak raises both eyebrows, a move he's accused Even of passing onto him, the corners of his mouth quirking up.

"I want to fuck you," Isak says again, just as easily. Sounding just as confident. _Fuck._ It's fucking hot.

"We've never..." Even tries to say but Isak's hand wraps around his dick and his breath hitches.

"First time for everything," Isak says, jerking Even's cock. "Will you let me?" He asks and Even's nodding his head before he knows what he's doing. Isak's smile widens, he looks delighted and Even smiles back. This is new and outside of the comfort zone they've been cultivating with each other for months but...sex changes. Evolves.

Even can't imagine ever not wanting to be inside of Isak and he's pretty sure that Isak can't either. But. They can have this too. If it's what Isak wants. Even finds, the more he processes it, that it's what he wants as well.

Isak's careful, as he runs a lube slicked finger along Even's rim. Much more so than the few other times he's pressed a finger in there, searching for Even's prostate as he sucks him off and that's always felt good, felt amazing really, and Even wonders why he'd never seriously considered that this could be something they'd be into. The tease of Isak's finger is getting to him and Even moves, shifting down, in an effort to get it inside of him. Isak smirks.

"Are you going to be this smug through this whole thing?

"Can't help it," Isak says, "It's..." That's when he does it, pushing inside of Even, in one smooth movement. Up to the second knuckle, at least. "Fuck," Isak cusses and Even closes his eyes. He's had Isak's finger inside of him before, he doesn't-- he doesn't understand why this feels so much different. Why this feels _so much._ "You look gorgeous, Even," Isak praises, moving his finger, in and out, in and out, and Even moans.

"More," he asks.

"You're ready for it?"

"Yes," Even nods, uncaring of how eager he sounds. He doesn't mind. It's Isak seeing him like this and making him feel this...this _vulnerable._ And that's okay because Even's safe with Isak. Always. "I want it," he admits.

"Fuck," Isak swears above him, and does it-- this time without the tease, slipping a second finger inside of Even with ease. "God, you're taking this so good, Even."

Even feels himself flush, feels good at the words, even as he feels a slight discomfort, a burn from being stretched more than he's ever been. He wants to laugh at himself because he puts four fingers inside of Isak's ass on an average day and then his admittedly massive dick, which isn't bragging. He has a big dick, Isak too. Shit. And it's going inside of Even soon.

"Relax for me," Isak soothes, probably feeling the spike of tension from inside of Even. It's a hot thought and when Isak pulls out, Even whines. Wanting it back. Isak gives. Fucking inside of Even, deeper this time. It feels-- it's--

"Isak, _fuck."_ He feels so good, full but-- there's an edge to it. An incompleteness that he knows can only be fixed one way. "Fuck me," he asks, demands really.

"Fuck, Even, you're so hot," Isak looks up from between Even's legs, meets his eyes. His hand speeds up at the same time, making Even moan at the sensation. Isak's eyes are dark, dilated completely. His hair is falling down his forehead, curling slightly over his eyes. He looks fucking beautiful and he's making Even feel things he's never felt before.

"I love you," Even's mouth says without his permission.

"Love you too," Isak says, almost absently. "Going to add another finger, okay?"

Not okay. "I want your dick."

"You'll have it. Soon, I promise," Isak says, and slips in another finger. Even throws his head back, and arches into it, takes it. Takes another part of Isak inside of him.

"You should see yourself, baby," Isak says, "You're fucking beautiful."

"Fuck," Even bites his lip, fingers digging into the sheets of their bed for something to hold onto, something to keep him together, when it feels like Isak's taking him apart. He fucks Even like that, with three fingers inside of him, for what feels like a long time, as sweat crawls down Even's arched spine. Every so often, just the tips of his fingers will brush along Even's spot, and it's like Even can taste it inside of his mouth, that elusive feeling of pleasure beyond his current understanding of the concept. "Please," he says, and realises he's been saying it for a while. "Please. Isak, I want. I want..."

And then Isak's taking his fingers out and Even feels _wrong._ His stomach clenches with how empty he feels. His skin feels hot, prickly and he knows what he needs. So does Isak. So he just needs to trust Isak to give it to him, to take care of him.

"That's it, love," Isak says, his hands finding the back of Even's thighs and pushing up, spreading his legs even wider than Even was doing himself. Isak crawls in between them and Even loses his breath. More so when Isak starts to kiss him again. He can feel the head of Isak's cock, nudging at his hole and Even's ready for it. Wants it in a way he doesn't quite understand yet but he's still nervous. He isn't scared but--

Isak breaks their kiss, "Look at me," he says-- and Even does. "I need you to open up for me, okay love. Bear down when I push inside."

"I know," Even says because he's not exactly an expert on getting fucked but it's not like he's a complete novice when it comes to anal sex. Isak smiles down at him.

"It's a little bit different from the other side," he says, like he's reading Even's mind. "If it hurts and you want me to stop-- "

"I don't," Even tells him. It's maddening. Feeling Isak's dick _right there_ and not having it yet. "I don't want you to stop." Doesn't matter how much it hurts, right now, Even doesn't think anything could stop him from taking Isak's dick.

"Good," Isak says, "You're so good, Even," and his eyes drop to half mast as he starts to push inside. Fuck. _Fuck._ "You feel so good," Isak tells him and Even focuses on that, on the obvious bliss on Isak's face, the flush on his cheeks and the way he keeps worrying his bottom lip. It's not easy-- straying his focus from what feels like a broom being shoved up inside of him when he knows he's only taken about half of Isak's dick. But he does it. He bears down against the intrusion and let's it happen, let's Isak push all the way inside of him until he's flush against Even's ass. Even feels so _full._

"Breathe for me," Isak tells him and he sounds completely fucked and strangled. Like it's taking everything he has right now-- not to just move and take and fuck Even. Isak's trying so hard to be good to him and it makes Even's heart swell. "That's it, love. You're doing so good for me," Isak says. Even nods. "Kiss me," he asks.

Isak does, his lips moving against Even with a sureness, a familiarity that's a strong contrast to the way Even's body is trying to accommodate his presence inside of it. Even gives himself over to it, to Isak's mouth, lush against his and his tongue pushing inside and then out, like he wants to do to Even's ass. A heedy rush travels through Even's body as he realizes that he wants that too. That he's ready. "Move," he says against Isak's mouth.

"Yeah?"

"Yes," Even nods, their lips brushing together as he does so. "I want you to fuck me."

Isak does and when he moves, it's with a slow drag of his cock along Even's walls. The sensation is strange and thrilling and kind of wonderful because Isak... Isak is inside of Even. He's inside of him and Isak's taking pleasure in it and just the sight of that-- Isak's lips parted, mouth slack from how good he's feeling-- it sends a wave of heat through Even and makes him aware, quite abruptly, of how hard and aching his cock is right now.

"Yes," he says, and lifts his hips up, into the movement of Isak sliding in and out of him. Isak kisses him again and they go like that, their rhythm matching in a slow rush towards some unknown point that gets closer and closer to Even's reach with every second that Isak's fucking into him. He didn't know-- had no idea that he could feel like this and the thought is overwhelming him, right now, that this is what Isak's been feeling every time they do this. Even knew he made him feel good but he didn't understand _how_ and now he does because Isak...

Isak gave him that, shared it, wanted Even to have it too and that's just-- fuck.

_Fuck._

"There?" Isak asks, panting as he moves above and inside of Even and he tries to talk, opens his mouth but the only sounds he can manage are moans and whimpers he'd never thought himself capable of and he doesn't even have the facility to give a nod of his head that, _yes, there, fuck,_ but Isak seems to understand him anyway, moving faster and hitting Even's prostate over and over and again with a kind of dead on precision that Even only managed to find a few weeks after they started fucking.

"You close?" Isak asks, "Tell me you're close, please, I'm gonna-- "

"Yeah," Even manages to say this time, moving one of his hands from Isak's sweaty back to wrap around his cock, jerking off in pace with Isak's thrusts.

When Isak comes, Even watches every second of it, enthralled as always, and it's as Isak's orgasm is winding down that Even feels it start to happen. He tenses, his walls squeezing around Isak, who moans deep and Even comes.

And it's different-- not better or all that worse but still completely different to every other orgasm that Even's had in his life. It comes from some other place, deep inside of him and it sets him alight from there, moving outwards and through the rest of his body. Even feels as Isak's hand replaces his on his dick, moving fast and tight and milking him through his orgasm.

It's a long time before Even feels himself return to awareness and when he's blinking up at Isak, it's to find a look on the man's face that's he's never ever seen before.

"You're absolutely perfect," Isak says, before leaving down to kiss Even, mouthing over his cheek, along his jaw, before taking his mouth in a deep kiss. Even can't kiss back all that well but he tries his best. It's a few moments later that Isak pulls back and Even feels his softened cock slip out of him. _That_ feels weird and not like something Even's likely to ever get used to.

"You want me to clean you up?" Isak asks, probably because he doesn't mind it, having Even's come leak out of him and messing up their sheets. They do a lot of fucking laundry in this apartment.

"Yeah," Even says, feeling lethargic and satisfied. Isak nods and heads for the bathroom. Even closes his eyes until he hears Isak come back, the bed dipping as he climbs back on top of it. Even hisses when Isak cleans him there, despite the touch being gentle.

"You okay?" Isak asks, after he's wiped the come from Even's stomach as well.

"Great, actually," Even tells him.

"So you liked it?" Isak smiles.

"More than I thought I would," Even admits. "Thank you."

Isak laughs, "Wasn't exactly a hardship for me, dude."

"Come on," Even rolls over, ignores the sting in his ass as he does so. "Sleep now."

Isak settles on his side of the bed, into the circle of Even's arms, resting his head against his chest, easy and familiar, like it belongs there.

"I love you," he tells Even.

Even kisses his hair and says it back.

**Author's Note:**

> You can follow me on [Twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/mimi_fics)
> 
> <3


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